Dad - A Tribute & My Memories

Joseph Cecil Carr

1910-2000

My Dad's love for both my mother and myself was rock solid. My life as a child was smooth sailing, and both of my parents made sure of that.  I was adopted when I was a few days old, and as far as I am concerned, that was the luckiest day of my life.

There are many fond memories of my Dad.  Both my parents were not shy about letting me "do things" at an early age. In the 1950's, it was still popular to raise children "to be seen, not heard".  That wasn't my experience with my parents.  They always valued my opinion, and encouraged me to participate in debate around the dinner table - politics, religion, the environment, economics - always a subject-of-the-day.

I was also encouraged (and expected) to help out with the endless chores to keep our five acre property in the Cowichan Valley in good shape.  There was no weekly allowance for me.  I was expected to earn spending money on my own, if I needed it.  On the other hand, I never wanted for anything (clothes, books, toys, etc.), since I was an only child.  I was always out in the yard helping Dad cut the lawn (an all-day affair when we only had a power mower you had to push to cut our acre of lawns).  In the winter, we were shoveling snow off the roof. Then there was fencing, looking after chickens, bantems, dogs, wild birds, horses, cows, sheep, and the list goes on...

Summers were spent at Rathtrevor Beach or Qualicum Beach.  We camped at Rathtrevor when the Raths still owned the property, and so we camped wherever we liked.  Dad was there to setup the tent, chop wood, play ball, and walk the beach. We often stayed so long that he had to return to work in Duncan - he  would join us on the weekends. When we were at Qualicum Beach, we stayed in a small cabin. It was always a challenge to get Dad in the water.  He could swim, but never seemed to like the water that much - a quick dip, and he was out.

We did a fair bit of traveling when I was a kid.  Driving tours of the province in the 1950's and 60's were part of the job for Dad, since he was a safety instructor for BC Hydro (BC Power Commission at the time).  We also took bus tours to see most of the province: the Bennett Dam (when it was being built), Banff and Jasper National Parks, the Kootenays, Okanagan Valley and the Cariboo. We also traveled to Expo 67 in Montreal - flying to Montreal and returning back across Canada by bus tour.  Getting Dad to fly in an aircraft was another challenge.  He was a white-knuckle flyer, but managed to make it from Victoria to Montreal just that once.

During the 1950's, BC Power Commission (now BC Hydro) was still involved in bringing power to the residents of the outer Gulf Islands.  Dad was part of this work, and so Mum and I would stay at the Harbour House Hotel on Saltspring Island while he was working to construct the lines.  We were a very close family.

When I graduated from BCIT in 1972, he nearly cried, he was so proud of me.  That ceremony obviously meant a lot to him personally, since higher education wasn't really an option when he was growing up (same for Mum).  He also retired (early) from BC Hydro at this time.  Mum and Dad lived in the same house in the Cowichan Valley which I was raised for awhile, but soon found it to be too much to look after.  They decided to retire to Nanaimo (their home town) in 1980, and rented an apartment in a senior's complex.  They have lived there (independently) to the present day (2000).

I lived in Vancouver for six years (1970-1976), and during my stay in the West End, Mum and Dad would be frequent visitors.  When I moved to Victoria in 1976, they were very happy to have me closer to them.  The hour and a half drive between Nanaimo and Victoria made visiting that much easier (and more frequent).  I cherished my visits to Nanaimo, especially in the later years. We usually did little things while we were visiting, and simply enjoyed each other's company.  In the afternoon, Dad and I would sit in the living room and have a beer together - the only time he had a drink in his later years.  We both looked forward to this quiet companionship that seemed to build as we matured.

A few times each year, Mum and Dad would visit me in Victoria.  In later years, I drove up to Nanaimo and returned with them to Victoria, since they were not confident enough to drive that far by themselves.  In 1998 Dad voluntarily gave up his license to drive (Mum continued to drive for a few years more).  When they were in Victoria, it was a ritual to take Dad to the Swiss Chalet for chicken dinner, which he really enjoyed.  His 90th birthday (his last) was celebrated with take-out Swiss Chalet chicken, since he wasn't feeling up to going to the restaurant that day.

Dad loved his sports, and as previously mentioned he was an excellent soccer player in his early adult years.  Later on, he was also a talented ten pin bowler and curler.  When he had to have a hip and a knee replaced with artificial joints, that ended his active participation in sports.  He was always an avid armchair sportsman, watching hockey and soccer on TV, and in later years he expanded his viewing to include almost any sport going.

Mum and Dad joined the Heart Aerobics class at the Bowen Park Seniors Centre when it first started up.  Three days a week, early in the morning, they would go for their exercise, and to have their hearts monitored. Mum continued to go to the class for awhile after Dad's death.  They made many good friends among the participants of the class, and many showed their support to my Mum after Dad's death.

Dad was the baby of his family.  His brothers and sisters Jack, Bob, Evelyn, and Amy all pre-deceased him.  His father was a coal miner from the west of England, and soon decided to leave mine in Nanaimo and operate a farm just north of Nanaimo in Wellington.  Now that property is covered in malls and houses.  His parents then decided to operate the Somerset Hotel - located in the same area.  Finally, they operated Carr's Garage in the downtown of Nanaimo, running a taxi business as well out of the same location.

I have no regrets about my father's death.  I visited him often, and we always got along great.  I considered the time spent with my Dad a gift.

Fond memories...

Joe Carr